Sunday, 6 March 2016

... a pleasure for my concentration ...

by Simone McPherson
 It has now been nearly four months since my fall, my short term memory has slowly returned with a lot of patience, kindness and reassurance from El Ranchero who has been by my side right throughout this ordeal.  I am very Grateful for his attention and his thoughtfulness at this time.

I had to reteach myself a number of things and I also had to instil some new understandings as my perception of things had shifted from my old self.  I was different, I was still myself though I was different somewhere.  I could not quite put my finger on it nonetheless I knew I was different.

Everyday functions were the same the only difference was that I was in the ‘Now’ I had no perception of “doing this and then I will do that”. 

None at all, I had to be present right in the moment for each and every task I took on.  I had to write myself lists, lists and more lists.  I had lists floating around everywhere, and many I do not remember writing.

I had to pull out manuals that luckily I had kept though that in itself was a task as I had to remember where on earth I had put them.  The manuals were on how to use the sewing machine, how to use the remote control for the CD player and for the Television.  Though it would be a while before I could sit down to watch a movie or even just the television as the information and the images were too much for me to take in at the time.  

I had to learn how to use the mower, how to use the riffle and the revolver, how to work out the gas stove, the washing machine and so forth, and as for driving a manual vehicle and listening and talking to someone at the same time? absolutely way beyond my perception of understanding at this time. 

For the first three weeks or so I could not be left alone as I forgot about things, I just did not remember putting on the kettle, turning on the iron, leaving the door up at the chest freezer, leaving the tap running at the sink as I just walked away and the list went on.  

We were fortunate to have friends drive out for a day to ‘baby sit’ me, as I really could not have a conversation either except for the very basic.  So they were happy to watch a movie, horse racing, football, fix machinery, change oils in motors and so forth whilst I listened to my Audio Books. 

These visits allowed El Ranchero to get on with jobs around the property, as I still could not travel in the Ute with him as the bumps along the tracks were too horrendous for me, and I was suffering quite a bit from the ‘light’ migraines. 

 I could not be around machinery as I had no concept of the dangers associated with their procedures; I would get distracted with looking at the scenery or some other thing.  There became a lot of things that were left undone as we could not get to them at this time.

 And so my reprogramming began.  I had to learn to do one thing at a time, and that one thing I would strangely enough become totally engrossed in doing to almost faultlessness in my eyes.  

In an odd sort of way I found my new understanding of doing things a pleasure for my concentration was focussed, unhurried and taken on with fresh eyes and investigation.

… to be continued …